Writing Diary #8- Stressy Self-doubt Struggles

I wish, Caroline

Side note: All the previous Writing  Diaries will be linked under this post in case you missed any! 

I know my book isn't great- far from it. But I'm having a serious slump at the moment. Which is normal.
I think.
Before printing my novel for my first beta reader to see, I wanted to go through it one last time for a quick proof read. I know full well that the first half of my book isn't great and that it gets better throughout but.... reading those first few chapters is so depressing and shoves so much self-doubt into me.
I read a good four chapters- took me about 40 minutes- and... nothing had happened!!! It was all terrible descriptors and pointless introductions and the thought of someone other than me reading it is shameful!!!

The next day
I've read up to chapter 9 now and...I'm feeling so down! The writing is awful, the characters are unrealistic, the relationships are way too quick, there's no grip to the story and the dialogue is flat.

I'm not silly enough to think that this book will ever get published- seriously, I'm 16, nothing I write will be good enough to be sent out to the world but.... it's just annoying to have this much self-doubt when I've spent so much time on it. I'm sure that once I read the second half of the book, I'll be in better spirits but no one reads through a crappy beginning- they would've ditched my book ages ago.
So, though this book will never be successful (and I know that), I have to keep in mind that it's good experience, that completing a novel is more than some people ever do and.... just because this story may not work out, it doesn't mean all of them will.

Sorry to be completely and utterly depressing but I just had to get that out.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment your thought! Stay amazing!
Chloe

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