Thursday, 20 April 2017

Writing Diary #8- Stressy Self-doubt Struggles

I wish, Caroline
Side note: All the previous Writing  Diaries will be linked under this post in case you missed any! 

I know my book isn't great- far from it. But I'm having a serious slump at the moment. Which is normal.
I think.
Before printing my novel for my first beta reader to see, I wanted to go through it one last time for a quick proof read. I know full well that the first half of my book isn't great and that it gets better throughout but.... reading those first few chapters is so depressing and shoves so much self-doubt into me.
I read a good four chapters- took me about 40 minutes- and... nothing had happened!!! It was all terrible descriptors and pointless introductions and the thought of someone other than me reading it is shameful!!!

The next day
I've read up to chapter 9 now and...I'm feeling so down! The writing is awful, the characters are unrealistic, the relationships are way too quick, there's no grip to the story and the dialogue is flat.

I'm not silly enough to think that this book will ever get published- seriously, I'm 16, nothing I write will be good enough to be sent out to the world but.... it's just annoying to have this much self-doubt when I've spent so much time on it. I'm sure that once I read the second half of the book, I'll be in better spirits but no one reads through a crappy beginning- they would've ditched my book ages ago.
So, though this book will never be successful (and I know that), I have to keep in mind that it's good experience, that completing a novel is more than some people ever do and.... just because this story may not work out, it doesn't mean all of them will.

Sorry to be completely and utterly depressing but I just had to get that out.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment your thought! Stay amazing!

Writing Diary #1 | Writing Diary #2 | Writing Diary #3 | Writing Diary #4 | Writing Diary #5 | 


  1. Chloe. Just you listen to me. I know i have not read this book and so can't judge it but i know your writing and your imagination and you are an amazing writer. You will achieve your goal to become an author, not right now but you will. Keep going, you have got much further ahead than most people- you finished the book! I believe in you, you are the upcoming Cassandra Clare! Stay strong! I have a special spot on my bookshelf reserved for you xx

    1. Have I told you how amazing you are? I'm so lucky to have a friend like you xx

    2. You are an amazing friend too. You have helped me through so much xx

  2. I haven't read your book, but you're 16 and finished a freaking novel! Take a deep breath girl. You've got this (:
    Morrighan @ Elysian Fields<3

    1. Thank you so much! I can't tell you how much the support means to me xx
      I checked out your blog and loved it! I followed through Google and I'm honoured to be your 100th follower!
      Thanks xx