Emptiness- Original Poetry

Here we are again. Another depressing poem. I wrote this a couple of months ago and, honestly, it's one of my favourites. When I go through it, I read it out loud in a whisper... it gives off an ASMR feel and the soft whispers calm me despite the helplessness of the actual message.
I hope you enjoy!

Emptiness

my brain is tangled,

thoughts scattered

springing in different directions

yearning for affection,

clinging to discretion.

my feelings are hiding,

withdrawing into a bottle. 

they scuttle away from judgement,

to wonder and pray-

thought for what, it's hard to say. 

my childhood is running away from me,

nostalgia caught in clenched teeth

the loneliness I've always felt,

peeling away to possibility,

disintegrating beneath piled up dreams.

and yet I'll miss the emptiness;

the familiar numbness of it's coat

as it wrapped itself around me

the misery that grounded me

all I've known, bound to me. 

because the future, unknown, 

is a change churning in my stomach

an acid burning me from the inside out

my excitement clouded by doubt,

a melody lost to a shout. 

So, with every unrealistic hope,

I'll step forward on heavy feet 

and a practically metal heart

to ensure that it will sustain me from the very start

and refrain me from falling completely apart.  

- Chloe Harris, June 2017

Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment your thoughts. Stay amazing!
Chloe