Without Merit- Colleen Hoover BOOK TALK

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I can always count on Colleen Hoover to both break my heart and make it soar. I can't fault this novel. Colleen Hoover creates this beautiful blend of romance and painful realism. This story covers topics like depression, suicide, sexuality and mental health in such a sophisticated and respectful way.
While the romance is the basic plot of Colleen Hoover books, there's such layered inclusion of different relationships and personal struggles which I absolutely love- it makes the plot more complex and realistic. (And it never fails to get me personally invested in these characters).

'You need to fall in love with yourself first.'

GOODREADS

AMAZON

SPOILERS AHEAD- SPOILERS AHEAD- SPOILERS AHEAD- SPOILERS AHEAD- SPOILERS AHEAD
Colleen Hoover has this brilliant ability to grip readers from the very beginning. When I started this book, I was a little hesitant to begin with because I thought I had a very extreme case of insta-love on my hands here... and then, twelve pages in, there was the first plot twist. Only twelve pages in! Who does that?
I literally had to put the book down and cringe when we found out Sagan thought Merit was her twin sister because.... oh, the second hand embarrassment! It's safe to say, from this point on, I was totally gripped.

I liked Merit as a protagonist and I could relate to her in many ways which is always really nice. She wasn't massively popular, was a bit eccentric and weird, sarcastic and a brilliant big sister to Moby (who was absolutely adorable and arguably my favourite character of the book).
I also loved Sagan, though I think he's too good to be true. I mean, he's so collected and cool and fair and mature and he's only nineteen years old?! Though, I will say that his life experiences and worries about his parents definitely contribute to his outlook towards life. I loved his morbid drawings and I also super appreciated how supportive he was of Merit. He didn't shy away from her struggles or depression (he literally waded through her puke to count those pills...) and was willing to give her space so she could learn to love herself first. Let's be honest, we all need a Sagan in our lives.
We also had a whole cast of characters that were interesting and complex in their own ways.
I have to mention Luck because he's amazing. As soon as he sauntered onto the page with a neon green kilt... it was hard not to love him. I've recently realised that, in fiction, some of my favourite characters are the super fun and bubbly characters. Luck made me laugh all the time and he was really important in both getting Merit to open up and also to share his own experiences with her about his depression. I think the fact that Luck struggled with depression and had tried to take his life in the past was so important because it shows how difficult it is to see the signs sometimes. From a glance at Luck, you'd never guess he was depressed but you never know what people are truly struggling with and I think that was a true message that came from this book.
As for the rest of the family... I wasn't a huge fan of anyone except Moby. Honor and Utah got on my nerves quite a bit because it always felt like they were excluding or calling out Merit. As for the parents... well, they have their own issues.

The plot twists kept coming with this book and there was so many times when I just had to close the book and yell expletives because I didn't see so many things coming! I mean, Merit tried to have sex with her half-uncle! Utah tried to kiss Merit when they were younger! Honor has a weird necrophilia fetish! Their dad was cheating on Victoria! Their mum never even had cancer! Sagan's parents could be dead! Wolfgang was actually a girl!
There was just so much to gasp at!
I can totally see Merit's reason for writing that letter with all their secrets revealed and I think it was such an important step in order for this family to get the therapy it needs. I love the progression between all of their relationships and love that the book ends on such a positive and hopeful note.
Another great message of this book is that everybody's struggles are valid. Sagan put this point in lovely words and this hit me very personally because there have been many times in my own life where my own insecurities and struggles have been belittled because they don't compare to others' problems. It's made me suppress a lot of emotions and struggles in the past so this message of reassurance was so special to me. It doesn't matter what other people are going through- everyone has a different pain threshold depending on their own experiences and everyone's feelings are valid and important. 

"It annoys me when people try to convince other people that their anger of stress isn't warranted if someone in the world is worse off than them. It's bullshit. Your emotions and reactions are valid, Merit. Don't let anyone tell you any different."

Overall, this was an amazing book that, sure, has a romance in it but, more importantly, explores so many important topics that need to be talked about more.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment your thoughts. Stay amazing!
Chloe